Texts From Last Night · bixleystjames's Favorites

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bixleystjames's Favorites Texts:

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(806): View more from Texas

Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.

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(716): View more from New York

If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.

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(613): View more from Ontario

I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.

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(207): View more from Maine

I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.

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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Read it at the TFLN blog
(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.

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(704): View more from North Carolina

First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.

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(580): View more from Oklahoma

The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.

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(847): View more from Illinois

I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.

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