Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Texas (940)

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  (940): View more from Texas

  Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..

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  (940): Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku.. http://tfl.nu/zv8o
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  Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.

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  (940): Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night. http://tfl.nu/76za
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  I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast

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  (940): I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast http://tfl.nu/e3ki
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  Sorry about the flaming shit on your door

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  I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text

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  (940): Sorry about the flaming shit on your door (940): I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text http://tfl.nu/x4xg
  Replies (3) Good night (584) Bad night (345)
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  No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.

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  (940): No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird. http://tfl.nu/3ffu
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  Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!

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  (940): Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?! http://tfl.nu/l6ig
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  Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.

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  (940): Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits. http://tfl.nu/jw0d
  Replies (9) Good night (759) Bad night (210)
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  I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.

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  It's 2 pm....

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  (940): I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas. (254): It's 2 pm.... http://tfl.nu/onth
  Replies (3) Good night (1669) Bad night (264)
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  (940): View more from Texas

  Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.

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  (940): Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying. http://tfl.nu/q8jl
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  I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.

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  (940): I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight. http://tfl.nu/7wi4
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  (940): View more from Texas

  BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.

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  (940): BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic. http://tfl.nu/0fj8
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  P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.

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  (940): P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message. http://tfl.nu/r5mr
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  She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.

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  (940): She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick. http://tfl.nu/jiew
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  The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.

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  (940): The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library. http://tfl.nu/9n29
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  (940): View more from Texas

  Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago

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  (940): Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago http://tfl.nu/00op
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