It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
tell me about the fingering
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.