this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
i feel like i got punched in the face....
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.