I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants