Texts From Last Night

Last Night in New Jersey (908)

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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back

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  (908): Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back http://tfl.nu/mdgi
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  I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice

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  (908): I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice http://tfl.nu/gs1d
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  Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster

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  (908): Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster http://tfl.nu/yuhk
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  My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.

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  (908): My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes. http://tfl.nu/8gcz
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  How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.

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  (908): How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks. http://tfl.nu/jloo
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  Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop

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  (908): Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop http://tfl.nu/suxm
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  Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.

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  (908): Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas. http://tfl.nu/cnc6
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  As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status

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  (908): As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status http://tfl.nu/7e09
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  HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k

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  (908): HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k http://tfl.nu/jlb6
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  You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.

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  (908): You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution. http://tfl.nu/9oem
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  I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?

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  It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.

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  (413): I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude? (908): It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer. http://tfl.nu/qzgh
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  My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.

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  (908): My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this. http://tfl.nu/dlh8
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  and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"

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  (908): and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now" http://tfl.nu/8bck
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  It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..

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  (908): It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps.. http://tfl.nu/jf04
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  You working tonight?

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  Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess

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  (908): You working tonight? (856): Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess http://tfl.nu/kicb
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