He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
i feel like i got punched in the face....
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil