And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Woman Using Lunch Break To Find Another Job Gets Hilariously Snitched On By The Local News
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
28 ‘Thanks For Coming To My Ted Talk Tweets’ Funnier And More Informative Than An Actual Ted Talk
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday