She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.