My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?