On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
as a side note pls kill me
23 Annoying things Girls Do When They’re Trying To Be Cute
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
27 Unforgettable Hookup Texts
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia