So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"