Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?