Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me