We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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that may or may not have been my penis.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.