He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
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His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
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I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness