Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.