I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
It takes talent let's just say that
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size