I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?