Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
its liver damage thursday
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.