Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff