oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my penis made a compromise with my morals
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.