Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
my penis made a compromise with my morals
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.