You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
my penis made a compromise with my morals
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.