I think I gave a random lady a dildo
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol