I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.