dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
That's how pantless uber rides happen
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.