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But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
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