Texts From Last Night · Last Night in (925)

Last Night in California (925)

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(925): View more from California

But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point

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(925): But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point http://tfl.nu/knq2

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All I want is tacobeell and your body

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that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.

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(925): All I want is tacobeell and your body (1-925): that's my favorite sentence you've ever said. http://tfl.nu/3boc

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in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.

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he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!

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(510): in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water. (925): he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy! http://tfl.nu/d51r

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Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.

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(925): Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs. http://tfl.nu/ssx7

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I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.

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We just have a real special relationship.

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(925): I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar. (1-925): We just have a real special relationship. http://tfl.nu/gnex

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We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car

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(925): We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car http://tfl.nu/ofum

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I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.

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(925): I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place. http://tfl.nu/fozt

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Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.

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(925): Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis. http://tfl.nu/pfu8

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the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".

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(925): the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes". http://tfl.nu/fxx0

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Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities

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(925): Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities http://tfl.nu/6vqv

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We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro

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(925): We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro http://tfl.nu/hanl

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she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out

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this was your mom?

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(925): she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out (1-925): this was your mom? http://tfl.nu/x3f7

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I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too

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(925): I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too http://tfl.nu/v7gc

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Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?

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Come on man nobody wants to admit that

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(925): Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night? (1-925): Come on man nobody wants to admit that http://tfl.nu/8oz0

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Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.

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(925): Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life. http://tfl.nu/t7ml

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Last Night in California (925)

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