I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions