Texts From Last Night

Last Night in California (661)

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  No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...

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  Sorry.

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  (661): No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges... (661): Sorry. http://tfl.nu/vg1q
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  Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw

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  (661): Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw http://tfl.nu/sucz
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  First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.

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  (661): First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl. http://tfl.nu/e3wo
  Replies (11) Good night (459) Bad night (1020)
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  What a dumb baby whore.

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  (661): What a dumb baby whore. http://tfl.nu/17ck
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  Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.

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  (661): Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode. http://tfl.nu/t52r
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  It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas

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  (661): It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas http://tfl.nu/7a5h
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  I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.

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  (661): I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore. http://tfl.nu/4rua
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  There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.

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  (661): There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind. http://tfl.nu/kx07
  Replies (9) Good night (1447) Bad night (362) Order T-Shirt
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  I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?

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  (661): I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class? http://tfl.nu/dw55
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  He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!

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  (661): He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth! http://tfl.nu/q4tp
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  You are such a cockblock sometimes

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  You NEED a cockblock sometimes

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  (805): You are such a cockblock sometimes (661): You NEED a cockblock sometimes http://tfl.nu/zl8e
  Replies (10) Good night (4077) Bad night (529)
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  I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.

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  (661): I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head. http://tfl.nu/035n
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  We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.

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  (661): We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila. http://tfl.nu/fos5
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  I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.

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  (661): I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day. http://tfl.nu/ltd0
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  It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring

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  (661): It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring http://tfl.nu/4h9t
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