He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
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He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
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Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.