Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
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I just had all of the sex. All of it.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
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He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.