Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then