there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
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