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I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
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