Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.