Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Kentucky (606)

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  (606): View more from Kentucky

  Does the room smell any better?

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.

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  (606): Does the room smell any better? (859): Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless. http://tfl.nu/3ric
  Replies (12) Good night (865) Bad night (282)
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  (606): View more from Kentucky

  I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.

  (1-606): View more from Kentucky

  At least that would be something.

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  (606): I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting. (1-606): At least that would be something. http://tfl.nu/23qn
  Replies (4) Good night (455) Bad night (141) Order T-Shirt
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  What's the mantra for Sunday?

  (606): View more from Kentucky

  I will not have sex with him.

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  (502): What's the mantra for Sunday? (606): I will not have sex with him. http://tfl.nu/xixk
  Replies (2) Good night (582) Bad night (181)
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  (606): View more from Kentucky

  Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.

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  (606): Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend. http://tfl.nu/7yx3
  Replies (3) Good night (590) Bad night (205) Order T-Shirt
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  (606): View more from Kentucky

  The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.

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  (606): The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff. http://tfl.nu/i8ga
  Replies (1) Good night (493) Bad night (229) Order T-Shirt
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  (606): View more from Kentucky

  Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any

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  (606): Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any http://tfl.nu/tvgl
  Replies (3) Good night (824) Bad night (346) Order T-Shirt
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  (606): View more from Kentucky

  Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.

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  (606): Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK. http://tfl.nu/wl4e
  Replies (1) Good night (467) Bad night (241) Order T-Shirt
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.

  (606): View more from Kentucky

  Fuck him.

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  (304): When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred. (606): Fuck him. http://tfl.nu/h9q7
  Replies (2) Good night (1220) Bad night (713)
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  (606): View more from Kentucky

  I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.

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  (606): I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket. http://tfl.nu/x07r
  Replies (5) Good night (560) Bad night (1065) Order T-Shirt
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  (606): View more from Kentucky

  Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober

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  (606): Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober http://tfl.nu/4i83
  Replies (3) Good night (699) Bad night (317) Order T-Shirt
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  (606): View more from Kentucky

  The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.

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  (606): The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire. http://tfl.nu/g319
  Replies (6) Good night (468) Bad night (944) Order T-Shirt
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  (606): View more from Kentucky

  I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.

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  (606): I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail. http://tfl.nu/b2ml
  Replies (11) Good night (355) Bad night (3905) Order T-Shirt
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  (606): View more from Kentucky

  I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.

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  (606): I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell. http://tfl.nu/zj5n
  Replies (14) Good night (2378) Bad night (487) Order T-Shirt
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  (606): View more from Kentucky

  I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.

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  (606): I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died. http://tfl.nu/jcdc
  Replies (7) Good night (1357) Bad night (772) Order T-Shirt
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  (606): View more from Kentucky

  I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."

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  (606): I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening." http://tfl.nu/f5c0
  Replies (3) Good night (1359) Bad night (394)