Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
25 Things All Men Can Definitely Agree On
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
The dick lei will go down in squad history