dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up