The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
15 Porn Memes You’re Only Allowed To Laugh At If You’re Over 18
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.