My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.