Worst Nights of the Week

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• (858): View more from California

  His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick

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• (620): View more from Kansas

  I'm so gassy and it's your fault.

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• (078): View more from

  The hump and dump is a beautiful thing

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  Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (417): View more from Missouri

  He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.

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• (870): View more from Arkansas

  Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.

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• (813): View more from Florida

  My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery

  (941): View more from Florida

  Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old

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• (605): View more from South Dakota

  And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed

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• (702): View more from Nevada

  If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has

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  Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (253): View more from Washington

  I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.

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• (410): View more from Maryland

  and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot

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• (812): View more from Indiana

  Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy

  (513): View more from Ohio

  It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms

  (513): View more from Ohio

  But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!

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• (208): View more from Idaho

  It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney

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• (225): View more from Louisiana

  I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨

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