Texts From Last Night

Worst Nights of the Week

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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...

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  (859): I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint... http://tfl.nu/nvoy
  Replies (6) Good night (265) Bad night (881)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.

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  (202): It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE. http://tfl.nu/cbed
  Replies (6) Good night (156) Bad night (759)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE

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  (803): Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE http://tfl.nu/rt74
  Replies (13) Good night (235) Bad night (678)
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  (316): View more from Kansas

  You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.

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  (316): You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza. http://tfl.nu/b79k
  Replies (4) Good night (198) Bad night (612)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.

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  (612): That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful. http://tfl.nu/5ca5
  Replies (0) Good night (114) Bad night (562)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.

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  (540): The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it. http://tfl.nu/w84l
  Replies (0) Good night (224) Bad night (547)
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.

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  (281): This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse. http://tfl.nu/ekrm
  Replies (7) Good night (187) Bad night (512)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  there was so much lube in my brother's closet...

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  (847): there was so much lube in my brother's closet... http://tfl.nu/yytv
  Replies (1) Good night (170) Bad night (458)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.

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  (513): He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog. http://tfl.nu/uit4
  Replies (4) Good night (123) Bad night (437)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.

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  (416): He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came. http://tfl.nu/cj68
  Replies (1) Good night (184) Bad night (432)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole

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  (913): Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole http://tfl.nu/jf5e
  Replies (2) Good night (203) Bad night (403)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?

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  (440): Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth? http://tfl.nu/sdk1
  Replies (2) Good night (123) Bad night (388)
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  (516): View more from New York

  He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.

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  (516): He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP. http://tfl.nu/qa9j
  Replies (0) Good night (149) Bad night (386)
• Favorite

  (530): View more from California

  Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.

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  (530): Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber. http://tfl.nu/lvwx
  Replies (3) Good night (199) Bad night (385)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.

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  (520): Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband. http://tfl.nu/8kmu
  Replies (2) Good night (147) Bad night (378)