TextsFromLastNight.com

Worst Nights of the Week

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• (+61): View more from Australia

  I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.

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• (304): View more from West Virginia

  Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.

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• (319): View more from Iowa

  Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑

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• (704): View more from North Carolina

  I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap

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• (706): View more from Georgia

  Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.

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• (661): View more from California

  Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?

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• (757): View more from Virginia

  he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.

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• (845): View more from New York

  So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.

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• (701): View more from North Dakota

  I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.

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• (850): View more from Florida

  Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.

  (907): View more from Alaska

  you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing

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• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.

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• (914): View more from New York

  I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?

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