I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident