If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.