He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
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i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
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So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.