Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.