I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
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I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
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Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro