I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks