bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.