Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Illinois (847)

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  Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me

  (847): View more from Illinois

  No promises.

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  (773): Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me (847): No promises. http://tfl.nu/emuw
  Replies (32) Good night (1982) Bad night (234)
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  just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out

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  (847): just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out http://tfl.nu/k8ty
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  no one should ever give us hovercrafts

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  (847): no one should ever give us hovercrafts http://tfl.nu/uqn3
  Replies (22) Good night (3371) Bad night (206) Order T-Shirt
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  Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers

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  (847): Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers http://tfl.nu/3d71
  Replies (46) Good night (426) Bad night (4853) Order T-Shirt
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  i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding

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  (847): i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding http://tfl.nu/srhr
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  i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her

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  (847): i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her http://tfl.nu/2g5w
  Replies (11) Good night (451) Bad night (3220) Order T-Shirt
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  At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.

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  (847): At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face. http://tfl.nu/zq8n
  Replies (71) Good night (550) Bad night (6479) Order T-Shirt
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  i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.

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  (847): i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick. http://tfl.nu/gssh
  Replies (20) Good night (2761) Bad night (678) Order T-Shirt
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  but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear

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  (847): but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear http://tfl.nu/o189
  Replies (16) Good night (3509) Bad night (147) Order T-Shirt
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  cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on

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  (847): cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on http://tfl.nu/ommd
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  i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"

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  (847): i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong" http://tfl.nu/catg
  Replies (29) Good night (4742) Bad night (336) Order T-Shirt
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  another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?

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  (847): another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life? http://tfl.nu/u1gt
  Replies (27) Good night (562) Bad night (3655) Order T-Shirt
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  His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.

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  (847): His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it. http://tfl.nu/zrgw
  Replies (33) Good night (587) Bad night (5132) Order T-Shirt
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  There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.

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  (847): There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car. http://tfl.nu/95qt
  Replies (40) Good night (621) Bad night (6590) Order T-Shirt
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  We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.

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  (847): We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty. http://tfl.nu/2pem
  Replies (13) Good night (2753) Bad night (442) Order T-Shirt