Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I wish I had a tail.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake