you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.