Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.