It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.