Texts From Last Night · Last Night in (864)

Last Night in South Carolina (864)

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(864): View more from South Carolina

I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.

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(864): I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population. http://tfl.nu/aqkb

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We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.

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I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.

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(803): We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night. (864): I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this. http://tfl.nu/ixlj

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Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?

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You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away

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(864): Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night? (803): You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away http://tfl.nu/jmsz

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I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.

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(864): I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something. http://tfl.nu/s8xu

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Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah

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(864): Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah http://tfl.nu/n16g

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I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.

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(864): I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide. http://tfl.nu/p1xg

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my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!

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(864): my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year! http://tfl.nu/rim4

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That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.

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(864): That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it. http://tfl.nu/a8sj

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There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.

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(864): There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success. http://tfl.nu/houh

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Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.

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(864): Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you. http://tfl.nu/kfw2

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Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.

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(864): Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you. http://tfl.nu/7af4

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I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago

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(864): I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago http://tfl.nu/uywq

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Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.

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(864): Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that. http://tfl.nu/ou7s

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Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.

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(864): Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype. http://tfl.nu/2egz

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her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.

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(864): her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality. http://tfl.nu/j8og

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Last Night in South Carolina (864)

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