I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.