Texts From Last Night

Last Night in South Carolina (864)

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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June

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  (864): Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June http://tfl.nu/abqo
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  She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.

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  (864): She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar. http://tfl.nu/4bhx
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  Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.

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  (864): Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth. http://tfl.nu/f6x3
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  I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.

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  (864): I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day. http://tfl.nu/a8c7
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  I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers

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  (864): I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers http://tfl.nu/0wmu
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  Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?

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  (864): Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members? http://tfl.nu/kgk2
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  Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.

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  (864): Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded. http://tfl.nu/5fxu
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  turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy

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  (864): turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy http://tfl.nu/uoz8
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  the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.

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  (864): the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation. http://tfl.nu/dzey
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  It's official drugs can't kill me

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  (864): It's official drugs can't kill me http://tfl.nu/v797
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  We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.

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  (864): We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger. http://tfl.nu/jvyn
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  Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.

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  (864): Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night. http://tfl.nu/lqaz
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  theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college

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  (864): theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college http://tfl.nu/024s
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  I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.

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  (864): I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel. http://tfl.nu/63se
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  she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual

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  (864): she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual http://tfl.nu/fkyx
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