Texts From Last Night

Last Night in California (424)

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  you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes

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  (424): you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes http://tfl.nu/ok45
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  he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety

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  (424): he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety http://tfl.nu/36fw
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  I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.

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  (424): I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing. http://tfl.nu/4boy
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  I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed

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  (424): I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed http://tfl.nu/t74f
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  Do u kno any dealers?

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  I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.

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  (424): Do u kno any dealers? (1-424): I've officially lost all respect for you, dad. http://tfl.nu/eaqw
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  I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick

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  (424): I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick http://tfl.nu/5e2h
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  You hurt me so bad and it feels so good

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  (424): You hurt me so bad and it feels so good http://tfl.nu/hvpg
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  you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain

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  (424): you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain http://tfl.nu/zpba
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  I'd wear matching sweaters with you

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  (424): I'd wear matching sweaters with you http://tfl.nu/xbhf
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  Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?

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  (424): Excuse me do you have gonnorhea? http://tfl.nu/vw5o
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  It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.

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  (424): It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection. http://tfl.nu/sw7e
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  You just made me feel so damn special

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  (424): You just made me feel so damn special http://tfl.nu/801g
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  The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.

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  (424): The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration. http://tfl.nu/aroj
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