he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.