I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.