Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Michigan (231)

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  (231): View more from Michigan

  Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?

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  (231): Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often? http://tfl.nu/yhxm
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  Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.

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  (231): Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger. http://tfl.nu/yx75
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  I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.

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  The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter

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  (231): I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck. (231): The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter http://tfl.nu/we4f
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  My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....

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  (231): My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness.... http://tfl.nu/k1tt
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  Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.

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  (231): Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess. http://tfl.nu/xzef
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  I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.

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  (231): I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking. http://tfl.nu/yxdj
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  Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.

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  (231): Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs. http://tfl.nu/oqp6
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  the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants

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  (231): the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants http://tfl.nu/ctb5
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  Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.

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  (231): Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you. http://tfl.nu/6utw
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  I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.

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  (231): I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this. http://tfl.nu/nn25
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  You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.

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  (231): You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes. http://tfl.nu/m034
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  You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.

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  (231): You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked. http://tfl.nu/mtva
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  You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches

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  (231): You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches http://tfl.nu/iwei
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  I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs

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  (231): I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs http://tfl.nu/sh65
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  using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.

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  (231): using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper. http://tfl.nu/yfpy
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