Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Indiana (812)

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  (812): View more from Indiana

  I fill condoms, not promises.

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  (812): I fill condoms, not promises. http://tfl.nu/fzpc
  Replies (4) Good night (1126) Bad night (194) Order T-Shirt
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  FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG

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  (812): FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG http://tfl.nu/wer1
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  Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?

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  (812): Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout? http://tfl.nu/r4f3
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  My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.

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  (812): My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out. http://tfl.nu/0i9m
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  The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.

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  I'm on the job.

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  (812): The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory. (503): I'm on the job. http://tfl.nu/qjws
  Replies (6) Good night (819) Bad night (142)
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  Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.

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  (812): Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night. http://tfl.nu/i4xm
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  Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house

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  (812): Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house http://tfl.nu/563g
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  You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup

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  (812): You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup http://tfl.nu/kydl
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  I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.

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  (812): I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills. http://tfl.nu/whjf
  Replies (8) Good night (801) Bad night (174) Order T-Shirt
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  Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.

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  (812): Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes. http://tfl.nu/kd9i
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  I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land

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  (812): I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land http://tfl.nu/d4a5
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  He said he wanted to "superfuck" me

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  Does he wear a cape??

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  (812): He said he wanted to "superfuck" me (678): Does he wear a cape?? http://tfl.nu/0f5n
  Replies (4) Good night (1330) Bad night (188)
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  But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis

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  (812): But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis http://tfl.nu/afbo
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  I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.

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  (812): I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle. http://tfl.nu/j0rx
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  I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.

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  (812): I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest. http://tfl.nu/mbi2
  Replies (5) Good night (939) Bad night (228) Order T-Shirt