On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.