you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?