Texts From Last Night

Last Night in New Jersey (973)

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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you

  (571): View more from Virginia

  Bonus points are bonus points regardless

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  (973): Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you (571): Bonus points are bonus points regardless http://tfl.nu/vyof
  Replies (10) Good night (508) Bad night (535)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.

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  (973): I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian. http://tfl.nu/8wfu
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  wine lets you be on time to class apparently

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  This is a dangerous realization

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  (973): wine lets you be on time to class apparently (619): This is a dangerous realization http://tfl.nu/clwe
  Replies (4) Good night (648) Bad night (434)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.

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  (973): That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that. http://tfl.nu/drll
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  "can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time

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  (973): "can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time http://tfl.nu/xrvp
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius

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  (973): Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius http://tfl.nu/trod
  Replies (4) Good night (274) Bad night (1239) Order T-Shirt
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  How did you even find out?

  (1-973): View more from New Jersey

  Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Oh.

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  (973): How did you even find out? (1-973): Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom." (973): Oh. http://tfl.nu/227x
  Replies (9) Good night (2180) Bad night (778)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.

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  (973): I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication. http://tfl.nu/0f45
  Replies (6) Good night (1823) Bad night (253) Order T-Shirt
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.

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  (973): I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst. http://tfl.nu/4se8
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.

  (1-973): View more from New Jersey

  Not worth it.

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  (973): She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene. (1-973): Not worth it. http://tfl.nu/l4pk
  Replies (4) Good night (540) Bad night (1009) Order T-Shirt
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  you had me at cake vodka

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  (973): you had me at cake vodka http://tfl.nu/ixlp
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.

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  (973): Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover. http://tfl.nu/7xqn
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like

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  (973): Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like http://tfl.nu/re6o
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".

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  (973): i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on". http://tfl.nu/pnhv
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.

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  (973): We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness. http://tfl.nu/5j3m
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