Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah