I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over