Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.