You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Yup. One sock.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.