She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Yup. One sock.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful