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thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
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