Texts From Last Night · Last Night in (803)

Last Night in South Carolina (803)

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Should I go sleeveless of strapless?

(1-803): View more from South Carolina

Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.

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(803): Should I go sleeveless of strapless? (1-803): Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it. http://tfl.nu/1uzl

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Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time

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(803): Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time http://tfl.nu/n1yf

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Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.

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(803): Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time. http://tfl.nu/1oum

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If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time

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(803): If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time http://tfl.nu/10i6

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He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.

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(803): He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple. http://tfl.nu/4atf

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He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...

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(803): He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation... http://tfl.nu/sr4l

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It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?

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(803): It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you? http://tfl.nu/tv5z

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You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.

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(803): You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night. http://tfl.nu/009v

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We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.

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I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.

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(803): We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night. (864): I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this. http://tfl.nu/ixlj

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Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?

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You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away

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(864): Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night? (803): You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away http://tfl.nu/jmsz

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I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.

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(803): I don't trust myself to shower and not drown. http://tfl.nu/sha0

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Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?

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(803): Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick? http://tfl.nu/r3gk

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Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.

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(803): Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face. http://tfl.nu/i1ol

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I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!

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(803): I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score! http://tfl.nu/zwep

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Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.

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(803): Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know. http://tfl.nu/qron

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Last Night in South Carolina (803)

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