Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...