Why are your pants in the freezer?
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
20 People Confess What It’s Really Like To Live Under Sharia Law
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
21 Texts That Prove All the Magic Happens in Parking Lots
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."