Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Nebraska (402)

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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D

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  (402): Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D http://tfl.nu/eelv
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.

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  (402): Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building. http://tfl.nu/eh2u
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.

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  (402): i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding. http://tfl.nu/exiv
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  50% drunk capacity currently

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  (402): 50% drunk capacity currently http://tfl.nu/1j9a
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  If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom

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  (402): If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom http://tfl.nu/036d
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers

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  (402): I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers http://tfl.nu/eskp
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.

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  (402): Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night. http://tfl.nu/4fcf
  Replies (3) Good night (1034) Bad night (390)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of

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  (402): I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of http://tfl.nu/8cwz
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday

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  (402): Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday http://tfl.nu/hnnk
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  I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.

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  (402): I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that. http://tfl.nu/01r4
  Replies (11) Good night (525) Bad night (260)
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  I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.

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  (402): I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it. http://tfl.nu/oran
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  Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.

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  Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.

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  (402): Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans. (605): Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon. http://tfl.nu/v291
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun

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  (616): Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night. (402): 20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun http://tfl.nu/qbq0
  Replies (2) Good night (548) Bad night (321)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN

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  (402): YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN http://tfl.nu/z672
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  What drugs are we doing when you visit?

  (1-402): View more from Nebraska

  The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.

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  (402): What drugs are we doing when you visit? (1-402): The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles. http://tfl.nu/97ps
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