Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
21 Awkward Ways People Found Out Their Partner Was Into Outrageous Sex Acts
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.