Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?