He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?