its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
It's so Britney 2007, you know?