Texts From Last Night

Last Night in South Carolina (843)

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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib

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  (843): my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib http://tfl.nu/rp9w
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  i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex

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  (843): i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex http://tfl.nu/fymj
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  you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time

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  (843): you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time http://tfl.nu/xd6c
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  New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.

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  Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?

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  (843): New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard. (321): Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman? http://tfl.nu/4ln7
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  If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.

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  (843): If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is. http://tfl.nu/wd98
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  Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?

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  (843): Who's nuvaring is under my pillow? http://tfl.nu/bq0m
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  There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.

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  I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.

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  (843): There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac. (843): I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary. http://tfl.nu/0c6s
  Replies (3) Good night (1029) Bad night (264)
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  I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?

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  (843): I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out? http://tfl.nu/h2y5
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  I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that

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  (843): I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that http://tfl.nu/xola
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  I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed

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  (843): I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed http://tfl.nu/od18
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  Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?

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  (843): Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes? http://tfl.nu/3eu0
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  he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...

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  (843): he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house... http://tfl.nu/3q6f
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  To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.

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  (843): To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming. http://tfl.nu/2tij
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  My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"

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  (843): My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF" http://tfl.nu/1req
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  I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.

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  (843): I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form. http://tfl.nu/qfth
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