I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.