no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
High School Students Hilariously Rank Celebrities By Their Stank For Class Project
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
15 Things You Truly Understand If You Sleep Next To Someone Who Snores Like A Rhinoceros Every Night
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy