I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon