Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.