Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Pennsylvania (610)

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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops

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  (610): yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops http://tfl.nu/nsjn
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  Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.

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  (610): Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey. http://tfl.nu/1z5r
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  I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is

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  (610): I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is http://tfl.nu/18uv
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  you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love

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  (610): you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love http://tfl.nu/ef9a
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  But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69

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  (610): But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69 http://tfl.nu/zybq
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  i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.

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  (610): i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards. http://tfl.nu/8v5s
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  first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.

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  (610): first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow. http://tfl.nu/lsrh
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  You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours

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  (610): You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours http://tfl.nu/b1w1
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  You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.

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  (610): You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow. http://tfl.nu/j615
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  It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.

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  (610): It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock. http://tfl.nu/i24l
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  Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on

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  Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.

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  (610): Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on (484): Who said I was judging? More like congratulating. http://tfl.nu/coiy
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  Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?

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  (610): Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil? http://tfl.nu/j8sh
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  We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake

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  (610): We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake http://tfl.nu/df0e
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  She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out

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  (610): She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out http://tfl.nu/xh8n
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Don't text me with that hand

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  (410): SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR (610): Don't text me with that hand http://tfl.nu/c1bj
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