quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
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IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.