I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
27 Drunk People That Pissed Off The Cops And Got What They Deserved
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
How does it feel to date your dad?
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.