My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.