i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.