if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics