hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die