its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.