I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
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I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family