Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Arizona (928)

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  (928): View more from Arizona

  I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.

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  (928): I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready. http://tfl.nu/c6az
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  Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.

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  (928): Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment. http://tfl.nu/kmtk
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  I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.

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  (928): I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone. http://tfl.nu/zx3z
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  I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.

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  (928): I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with. http://tfl.nu/qynz
  Replies (2) Good night (889) Bad night (636) Order T-Shirt
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  My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.

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  Pass the awkward sauce please.

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  I'm drowning in it here

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  (928): My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking. (308): Pass the awkward sauce please. (928): I'm drowning in it here http://tfl.nu/qbnt
  Replies (3) Good night (1060) Bad night (523)
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  I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.

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  (928): I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad. http://tfl.nu/59qz
  Replies (26) Good night (478) Bad night (1355) Order T-Shirt
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  He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero

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  (928): He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero http://tfl.nu/1qw2
  Replies (6) Good night (421) Bad night (1915) Order T-Shirt
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  Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...

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  (928): Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out... http://tfl.nu/6hjg
  Replies (2) Good night (711) Bad night (368) Order T-Shirt
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  its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.

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  (928): its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u. http://tfl.nu/h95p
  Replies (20) Good night (1077) Bad night (3426)
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  I deem it safe for us to drink together again.

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  They dropped the charges?

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  Yeppers. Come drink beers.

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  (928): I deem it safe for us to drink together again. (1-928): They dropped the charges? (928): Yeppers. Come drink beers. http://tfl.nu/va29
  Replies (8) Good night (2500) Bad night (362)
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  OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.

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  (928): OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED. http://tfl.nu/kgw5
  Replies (59) Good night (514) Bad night (1561) Order T-Shirt
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  Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both

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  (928): Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both http://tfl.nu/0ibg
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  proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors

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  (928): proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors http://tfl.nu/6slk
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  I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.

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  (928): I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on. http://tfl.nu/43cf
  Replies (4) Good night (1088) Bad night (307) Order T-Shirt
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  I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.

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  (928): I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop. http://tfl.nu/tczb
  Replies (17) Good night (2972) Bad night (550) Order T-Shirt