He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.