I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
15 Porn Memes You’re Only Allowed To Laugh At If You’re Over 18
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music