Texts From Last Night · Last Night in (941)

Last Night in Florida (941)

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I really should sober up and deal with this hangover

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It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though

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(941): I really should sober up and deal with this hangover (941): It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though http://tfl.nu/cygd

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CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.

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(941): CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES. http://tfl.nu/rhol

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Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.

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(941): Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick. http://tfl.nu/3ndf

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She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???

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(941): She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina??? http://tfl.nu/hnyt

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Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.

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(941): Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low. http://tfl.nu/swva

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My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.

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(941): My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways. http://tfl.nu/nnm9

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I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.

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(941): I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever. http://tfl.nu/ukm2

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thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.

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(941): thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated. http://tfl.nu/xw0x

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Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.

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(941): Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band. http://tfl.nu/r564

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can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?

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idk, I had a turtle in mine.

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(941): can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat? (1-941): idk, I had a turtle in mine. http://tfl.nu/ag7m

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still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break

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(941): still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break http://tfl.nu/6afp

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so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.

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(941): so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation. http://tfl.nu/o6ey

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I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.

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(941): I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass. http://tfl.nu/wkll

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Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche

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(941): Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche http://tfl.nu/hcs6

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Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?

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(941): Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"? http://tfl.nu/trim

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Last Night in Florida (941)

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