He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.