You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
The adults are the big ones right?