Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
The adults are the big ones right?
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
You're a disaster
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?