Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Woman Using Lunch Break To Find Another Job Gets Hilariously Snitched On By The Local News
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
28 ‘Thanks For Coming To My Ted Talk Tweets’ Funnier And More Informative Than An Actual Ted Talk
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...