Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Did I turn a man straight...??
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.