Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
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I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
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I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?