just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
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should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Sext me about skeletons
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
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On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.