I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
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I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.