It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Women Are Tweeting Photos Of Their Underwear To Support Rape Victim Whose Thong Was Cited During Trial
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
21 ‘Don’t Say It’ Tweets That Are Gonna Get Said Every Damn Time
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?