Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
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