Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal