I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude