Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Illinois (217)

Sort By: Date / Good Night / Bad Night

• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (217): Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up? http://tfl.nu/08g9
  Replies (7) Good night (3462) Bad night (224) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (217): If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out... http://tfl.nu/9czx
  Replies (1) Good night (786) Bad night (305) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (217): Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized http://tfl.nu/ymju
  Replies (6) Good night (1504) Bad night (463) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (217): Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns http://tfl.nu/kqyl
  Replies (22) Good night (2151) Bad night (363) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (217): His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances" http://tfl.nu/5wgw
  Replies (11) Good night (1155) Bad night (414) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (217): i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in. http://tfl.nu/1p6s
  Replies (1) Good night (1449) Bad night (273) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (217): If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know http://tfl.nu/k0hk
  Replies (1) Good night (1025) Bad night (272)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (217): We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater. http://tfl.nu/r45m
  Replies (4) Good night (1331) Bad night (340) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (217): I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list http://tfl.nu/djej
  Replies (5) Good night (1266) Bad night (283) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (217): Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times. http://tfl.nu/ij34
  Replies (3) Good night (2033) Bad night (317) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (217): While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month. http://tfl.nu/gp1m
  Replies (18) Good night (575) Bad night (4035) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (217): Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way http://tfl.nu/0knp
  Replies (9) Good night (2478) Bad night (325)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (217): I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition http://tfl.nu/xug9
  Replies (0) Good night (887) Bad night (388)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (217): yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think http://tfl.nu/9wa8
  Replies (15) Good night (1080) Bad night (313) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (217): Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard? http://tfl.nu/j2bg
  Replies (16) Good night (513) Bad night (921) Order T-Shirt