kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
You can make out without kissing
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.