After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.