Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
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Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
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He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.