He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
This can only be settled by a dance off.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.