I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it