He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
25 Things All Men Can Definitely Agree On
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city