Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always